blahbadabadoo(:

Isn't that a beautiful title? It doesn't relate at all to anything I'm going to write, but I thought it would be amazingly fun to say(:

So my new year's resolution was to trust, as I stated a few posts earlier...so I thought, that as I said that, and I've had a month of practice, I should trust my beautimous blog readers.

1. I love to feel loved. It's one of those cravings I have. Which is why it sometimes seems like I just want attention. It's completely not true, I just want to feel loved. Which is also the reason I don't like hugs. I do like hugs, I just don't like them when they're unnecessary. Because then they feel...wasted. But when I'm feeling really down, I just want a hug.

2. I have a miserable temper. Things set me off really easily. But I can't hold a grudge. Sometimes I wish I could, but every time I try...it never works. I just can't do it.

3. I don't trust people, as you could tell by my resolution. I only have three people I actually, honestly trust. Well, four, I must count God, seeing as I trust him the most out of everyone(:

4. I've recently really started to like prayer. Like, I used to not to, because I doubted it for so long. But...after...um...was it 4 months? Yes, I do believe it was four months of praying for the same thing, my prayer was addressed in ways I could never have imagined. But really, if it had been answered sooner, some things might have turned out worse, so I'm glad it was late. It's all in the plan people, all in the plan...

5. I only really became a Christian in May. Shocking to some of those who have read blog posts from months ago? Probably. But see, I had always thought I was Christian. I went through all of the 'act' of it...but there was something totally different inside of me when I actually...cared. I cried for like, an hour because I was so sorry for everything I had done. But it was all so cleansing...so refreshing...

6. I am not as peppy as I often seem. I'm just very good at hiding my feelings. Like, apparently I'm amazing at it. So if you want to know how I'm really feeling, you have to ask, because another thing about me, is that I don't lie. Scratch that. I lie to avoid getting in trouble occasionally. But really, I truly don't lie very often. So if you ask me how I am, and I respond with something other than 'good' that means I'm not good. Just saying.

7. I don't express my feelings verbally very well. Like, not at all. Whatsoever. Urghh. I hate that. Sometimes I'm itching to say something, but I can't because I know it'll come out wrong. Urghh.

8. I don't get why I keep a blog. I really don't. I get why I have one, but not why I've actually kept it. Because I don't stay with projects very long. I get side-tracked rather easily.

9. Biggest fear?? Loneliness/Abandonment. Part of the reason I don't trust people. Because I'm scared they'll eventually leave me. And then...I don't want to be left alone...scared, vulnerable..ehh. I don't want to be abandoned, and I am absolutely miserable when I feel that way...

10. I like being trusted. I loooove it. I hate being lied to, because I can always tell when something's up. I'm actually REALLY observant. But only to people, not my surroundings. But in people, I can tell their likes, dislikes, needs, wants, moods...I can tell a lot of things....


Okay, so new favorite website! praywithme.org It. Is. AMAZING. It totally suits my new love of prayer too(: YAY!

*sighhs* I have song lyrics stuck in my head. They've been stuck in my head for hours....

"I will worship you for who you are,
I will worship you for who you are,
I will worship you for who you are,
Jesus..." you can find it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU7D369avGI

But see, me with my weird thoughts, took this another way.

It's so easy for us to accept us for who he is. I mean, he's perfect. We know this. It's easy to accept a perfect person

But he will accept us for who we are too, which is something we don't always understand/ accept for some reason. We think, "How could someone accept ME? After everything I've done..." But he really doesn't care about our flaws. We're still amazing in his eyes. He still has a plan for us. He still loves us.

So let's change those lyrics for a second. *even though I love them as they are*

"He will still love you for who you are
He will still love you for who you are
He will still love you for who you are
Jesus...."

Don't think you aren't worthy of his love, that you've done too much wrong, that you're completely undeserving. You haven't done too much wrong and he will always accept you. You can tell him anything, and he'll still love you. ANYTHING. I'm not just saying a few things. I'm talkin' everything. He's the expert of loving AND forgive and forget, remember, he wrote the manual!

So my message for today is, why not have a let go time? Maybe even right now. You might do this often, but it's oh so refreshing, and he will still accept you after, despite what you say. He loves you. A lot.

luvvvvvvs...

faithh